Dont Stop Dancing
by Hardyzschic
Summary: Matt finds a proper way to say good bye to his baby brother. (song fic)


Don't Stop Dancing  
By Hardyzschic  
  
At times life is wicked and I just cant see the light  
A silver lining sometimes isn't enough   
To make some wrongs seem right  
Whatever life brings  
I've been through everything  
And know I'm on my knees again.  
  
As Matt sat waiting for his turn to speak, he looked down at the worn leather bound journal that lay on his lap. Flattening his palm against it, he ran his hand across the cover and with his fingertips he went carefully around the edges. As he felt the soft leather he was flooded with memories. A million different scenes battled for the right to play them selves out in his brain. The one that surfaced to the top was not a happy memory at all. It was of another time when he had sat in the same church, almost in the same exact seat. He had been much younger then, but he sat there, as he did today, staring at a casket in front of him. He had tried not to cry then, he knew he needed to be brave for Jeff's sake. It all seemed pointless now. He shuttered then as he felt tears seep from his eyes and slide down his cheeks.  
  
But I know I must go on  
Although I hurt I must be strong  
Because inside I know that many feel this way  
Children don't stop dancing  
Believe you can fly  
Away...away  
  
From where she sat, just to his left, Amy reached out and squeezed his hand. When he looked over at her she smiled. He knew that she was just trying to be encouraging, and deep down inside he was thankful for it, but he could see the pain behind her smile. He knew she was one of the many gathered in the church that day which were sharing in the same pain.  
Turning slightly he looked around and saw many familiar faces as well as some he didn't recognize at all. He could see the pain reflected in each face, but he saw something else there as well...it was love, a love for a unique person who had touched each life in some special way. It was this same unique person, they all had lost.  
At times life's unfair and you know its plain to see  
Hey God I know I'm just a dot in this world  
Have you forgot about me?  
Whatever life brings  
I've been through everything  
And know I'm on my knees again  
  
Matt was lost deep in his thoughts when Amy squeezed his hand and said "Matt, its your turn to speak, the pastor just introduced you. I'll walk up there with you if you want." Matt shook his head slowly and grasping the journal tightly to his side he stood up and said "Thanks Aimz" he said softly "but this is something I have to do on my own." She nodded slightly and bit down on her bottom lip. He knew she was trying not to cry again. He turned and headed toward the pulpit and the crowd that was waiting to hear what he had to say.  
  
But I know I must go on  
Although I hurt I must be strong  
Because inside I know that many feel this way  
Am I hiding in the shadows?  
Forget the pain and forget the sorrows  
  
Matt placed the journal in front of him and looked out at the crowd. This is it he thought, as reality came crushing down around him, this was good-bye.  
  
But I know I must go on  
Although I hurt I must be strong  
Because inside I know that many feel this way.  
  
Flipping through the pages of the journal Matt found the passage he was going to read. He looked up and took a deep breath, and then he began to speak " Cancer may have taken my brother's life but it didn't take his spirit. His spirit can live on in many different ways. I can see that he is reflected in each of us here because he has touched our lives in some special way. He also lives on in the many writings he left behind. When I was trying to figure out what to say here today I happened to run across the last journal Jeff was using right before he died. Flipping through it I came across one of the last entries he wrote. It was then that I knew one of the best ways I could say good bye to my baby brother would be to share with you in his own words what I think would be his wish for us all. The entry reads:  
  
Children don't stop dancing  
Believe you can fly  
Away....away  
Am I hiding in the shadows?  
Are we hiding in the shadows?  
  
Taking another deep breath Matt closed the journal and said " I believe this would be my brothers wish for us all. Even though today we mourn a great loss, he would encourage us to keep dancing, to keep living life to it's fullest. We need to appreciate what we have here and now because we never know when it could be taken from us. I've learned the hard way that sometimes it can be taken from us all too quickly." With that said Matt picked up the journal, stepped down from the pulpit and walked toward the casket. When he reached it he placed the journal under Jeff's arm. Looking lovingly at his brother he whispered, "I promise I wont quit dancing baby brother, and I promise Ill try not to live in the shadows anymore either." Then he shut the casket lid and turned and headed back to his seat. Amy was waiting to hug him when he reached his seat on the front row. Her embrace was reassuring and secure. When he sat down he felt a hand on his arm. He looked over to see his father smiling at him through his tears. Gilbert squeezed Matt's arm and softly said, "You did good son, very good, Jeff would be proud." Matt nodded and smiled back at his father. He finally understood what it meant to come out of the shadows and he knew that soon he could take the first step and learn to dance again.  
  
  
(song lyrics are from the song Children Don't Stop Dancing by Creed) 


End file.
